Monday, April 6, 2009
Random Thoughts Pt. II
Looks like I'm not as random as I'd like to think I am, if I update this infrequently. But I shall strive to be more random than I am! I'll be the next super villain, you just wait. Don't give me that skeptical look, I'll be known as the notorious, dastardly, evilly evil Random Dude! Mere citizens will tremble before my power! Mortals will fall to their knees and beg for mercy before my might! For my powers will include the insanely, incredibly evil skill known as... No, I can't say its name, it's TOO EVIL.
...
The skill known as... Lolandom!
There, I said it. Can you feel the sheer EVIL being radiated from your computer monitor?
I'm sure you can.
I'm sure.
Yep.
Don't lie.
...
DAMN YOU. YOU CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW OF THE PURE EVIL THAT IS LOLANDOM. You'd be walking casually along the street, whistling a happy tune, thinking that nothing could go wrong on this fine, fine day, and BAM. A stranger appears out of nowhere and yells at you: "Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy."
And you'd be so disturbed by the random fact that you'd scrap all your plans for the day just to go home and Google or Wikipedia that random tidbit, simply because you'd be so disturbed.
'Seriously? Fauntleroy? Donald Fauntleroy Duck? Does he really have a middle name? Wow, I can't believe Donald Duck has an actual middle name, I was thought he was Donald Freaking Duck or Donald Imaduck Duck or Donald Grumpyoldfart Duck or Donald Daffy Duck or something! But, wow, Donald Fauntleroy Duck? Fauntleroy? Damn, I've gotta check this shit out.'
PURE, UNADULTERATED EVIL.
... And yes, Donald Duck's middle name really is Fauntleroy.
And I know that by now, you'd have already opened another browser window or tab to look that up.
MWAHAHAHAHA. Another victim of... RANDOM DUDE.
SO ANYWAY. Let's get on with the random thoughts!
Possibly Important Random Thought #1:
More on buses. Today, while waiting for my bus home, I came up with a theory that I think might answer burning questions that engulf our minds in flames from time to time.
BURNING QUESTIONS.
I have named this theory... Alvin's Theory of ZOMG-WHERE-IS-MY-@#$%ING-BUS. The theory states that the more you wonder where the hell your bus is, the more you will see buses that you cannot take.
For example, today, while waiting for my bus, I saw 5, five, FIVE of the same bus drive into the bus bay and happily zoom away.
Five.
What.
I swear, on the fifth bus, I could see the passengers laughing at my predicament. I wish there were some Ryu's Dojo of Hadoken or something. I would sign up in a heartbeat.
Random Passenger A: I say, old chap, just look at that man over there.
Random Passenger B: Dear friend, what could possibly be so interesting about a mere commoner?
A: Just look at him, old chap, he has that "ZOMG WHERE IS MY @#$%ING BUS" face.
B: Ha! Ha! Ha! You're right! That is indeed most amusing.
A: Ha! Ha! Ha! The poor sap, it does make one wonder just how long he has been waiting?
B: One can only speculate, dear friend, one can only speculate.
A: Verily so. Wait - what is that coming our way?
B: I can't quite tell from here, but I'd venture to say that looks like a Hadoken!
A: Wha-
*boom*
Man, that would be awesome.
Possibly Important Random Thought #2:
In the continuing saga of my otherwise boring and unepic day, I decided to alight a stop ahead of my home and walk, you know, because I'm a healthy person with a healthy lifestyle.
...
No, it's not because I overslept and missed my stop.
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.
So anyway, I was walking along the road, when I noticed that there was a construction worker up ahead at the side of the road, standing behind some weird thingamajig that I assume does wondrous things like blow up roads, dissolve debris and electrocute mosquitoes.
Stupid mosquitoes.
But that's a story for another day!
As I walked closer to the man, I noticed something strange. He was rocking back and forth on the spot. I got even closer, and I realized that he was... dancing... marching on the spot... doing something that looked really weird, especially since he was just standing there, behind the construction thingamajig, at the side of the road at 9:30pm at night, doing his own thing.
We live in a strange, strange world.
Not to be deterred from my home, I got even closer, and he finally realized that there was an unwitting audience to his routine.
And as all professionals do, upon realizing that he had an audience... He struck a pose.
Possibly Important Random Thought #3:
Sometime ago, I was in school doing work (more like playing games on my laptop, but that's besides the point). And I got tired after a while, so I looked up. In front of me was an open space, with a clear view of an adjacent building's rooftop, and on the rooftop was the silhouette of a bird. Now, that may not seem like anything special, but hold your horses!
The bird shifted its head backwards... and ANOTHER head came into view.
The bird had TWO heads.
If I had a weak heart, I probably would have keeled over and BAM, died right there. And if life were to be a reproduction of the internet, I would have shat bricks.
About 2 minutes and a session of hyperventilation (not to mention scaring the hell out of the people seated near me) later, I realized that the silhouette of the first bird was hiding that of the second bird completely. Either the first bird was monstrously gigantic and really needs to go on a diet before it unwittingly divebombs some random student or professor, or those 2 birds were twins, because I could not make out the second bird at all until it flew away.
Birds are evil.
Almost as evil as the Random Dude.
Not quite as evil.
But close enough.
...
Damn it.