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Name: Alvin
Age: 21 years old
D.O.B.: 2nd December 1987
Currently studying in:
NUS FASS (CNM major)

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You might remember how, perhaps, when you were younger, your friends and relatives and family would screech in horror, raise their hands and slap their faces (much to your amusement) whenever you said, "I slept during my exam today." You might also remember them shaking you and solemnly saying: "Never sleep in an exam, you must make full use of your time!" You might even go as far as remembering them throwing you a furious HADOUKEN! or KAMEHAMEHA! and screaming: "BETTER WAKE UP YOUR BLOODY IDEA, SOLDIER!"

The trauma has likely lasted you through the entirety of your school life.

But fret not!

For today, I have proven, beyond a doubt, that napping during an exam can have ginormous benefits! You see, I had my Sociology examination today (ironically, it's called Making Sense of Society, and it barely made any sense to me), and the format of the paper was basically choosing 3 out of 7 essay questions to answer. I took the question paper, flipped it over, and immediately realized that I only knew how to answer 2 out of the 7, which would have, of course, resulted in epic failure.

For the first minute or so, I sat there and panicked.

"Oh god what am I gonna do now I only know how to answer 2 out of 7 questions but I need to answer 3 oh damn oh damn why didn't the topics I studied for come out in this stupid question paper what are these questions asking were they even taught this semester I knew I shouldn't have slept through so many lectures oh damn what am I gonna do now..." and so on and so forth.

And then I made what could possibly be the wisest choice (as far as I'm concerned, heh) ever in the history of SC1101E .

I took a 15 minute nap.

Don't cringe from that Hadouken you can just imagine flying towards me right now!

That nap quite literally saved my ass (to put it crudely). The moment I woke up, I knew, and I have no clear idea how, how to write an essay for a 3rd question. Just like that. I picked up my pen, and immediately wrote a 2 page essay before moving on to the next question.

Epic.

And so... the moral of this story is:

Nap time is always good time. Always.

Rain and I, we have a longstanding give-and-take relationship - rain gives, and I take (whether I want to or not) It doesn't help that the only pair of slippers (how aptly named) that I own are so worn out that it only takes a little puddle of water to send my legs into the air, my head towards the floor, thus creating a combination that results in a great deal of pain. And humiliation. And pain.

And humiliation.

Just yesterday I took a Grade A (more on that later) 3 hit combo nasty spill. My slippers, combined with a freshly mopped and smooth marble floor, ended with my right leg flying out from beneath me. I suavely caught myself on the wall, and then my left leg decided that hey, my right leg's really cool, and tried to do the same thing. Once again, I managed to catch myself. But alas, both my legs decided that teamwork was the key to absolute suaveness, and I ended up sprawled on my back.

Stupid feet.

Stupid floor.

Stupid slippers.

Now, the very act of slipping isn't something to take lightly. Depending on the category of severity of the slipping, it can change the very fabric of reality as we know it.

"What do you mean, the category of severity of the slipping?" you may ask.

Excellente. (with an extra 'e'!)

No, I am not rubbing my hands together in glee like Mr. Burns does.



The Categories of Severity of Slipping:

Grade E:
"Heh."

- When your foot slides just a little, usually not enough for people to notice. Hence the name, usually, when people encounter this grade of slipping, it is a cue for a smug grin to plant itself smack on their face.

Grade D:
"Whoa."

- When your foot slides a little more than a Grade E slipping, enough for it to be noticeable and for your heart to perhaps skip a beat. This is also the grade where you will most likely catch your friends sniggering at you. (damn them!)

Grade C:
"Whoooa!"

- When your feet slide a fair amount more than a Grade D slipping, usually enough to cause you to blindly grab onto anything within arm's length (also a good chance to grab onto your friends - preferrably at their necks - in revenge for their sniggering)

Grade B:
Spill

- When you slip enough to land on your knees and maybe your elbows, resulting in a fair amount of pain and humiliation. Usually the cue for you to start swearing like a sailor.

Grade A:
Nasty Spill

- When your feet temporarily forget that they're not supposed to be above the head. A Grade A 'Nasty Spill' leaves you lying on the floor, winded and aching, and your pride bleeding out of you and mixing with the puddle of the water you're soaking in. Usually you would be in too much pain to even swear.

Grade S:
Fwooooosh

- If you slip, and discover you're in a completely alien place, whether it be in the middle of a forest surrounded by a pack of bloodthirsty wolves, or in the middle of China, you know that you have just encountered a Grade S 'Fwooooosh' slipping. This grade of slipping is so powerful that you end up in an entirely different place, as far as landing in a different country.

Grade SS:
Uh... Houston, We May Have A Problem

- As the name of this category suggests, you have slipped so hard that you just blasted off into outer space.

Congratulations!

Grade WTF:
Einstein, Smeinstein

- Note: This grade of slipping is only achieveable by the most incredible slippers of all slippers. If you slip this hard, you rip through the fabric of space and time, transcending the mortal boundaries of simple physics. You could conceivably alter the flow of time itself!

Remember, my friend, with great power comes great responsibility.

Doing something as irrelevant as burping or farting while suspended in the 4th dimension could destroy reality.



And now, I shall tell you the story of... The Slippers. No, I'm not referring to the footwear we've all come to love and hate. The Slippers are a group of gifted people with the power to control their slipping and use it in means to their advantage. Now, this may not sound particularly fantastic, and The Slippers agree that their powers lack the kind of 'cool-ness' that their cousins, The Jumpers, possess. However, the most powerful of Slippers have within themselves a power beyond comprehension. Why? Because the most powerful of Slippers could conceivably achieve a Grade WTF as and when they please.

:O

How do you identify a Slipper, you may ask? It's actually quite simple.



A Slipper:

- Owns a pair of slippers that are so incredibly worn out you'd think you could probably see your reflection in it.

- Will give the excuse tending towards the lines of "sentimentality" when asked why he/she doesn't get a new pair.

- Always carries a bottle of water around, but never seems to drink from it.

- When asked why, gives the excuse "just in case."

- Avoids rough terrain as much as possible.

- Loves smooth, slippery surfaces.

- Has the strangest habit of running and sliding on smooth surfaces, usually accompanied with a gleeful "Wheeeeeeee!"



If any of your friends fulfil all of the above characteristics, keep a close eye on him or her, your friend might just be a Slipper! Watch carefully when your friend slips, a professional Slipper is so adept at covering up a Grade WTF that it looks like a mere Grade E or D. But a sharp eye would be able to catch the telltale shockwave/sonic boom that accompanies a Grade WTF.

Good luck, soldier!